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DIDGE - The View From Down Under

An Aussie’s ridgy-didge view of world affairs and popular culture.

Friday, November 25, 2005

I don’t like grime, but I like to rhyme. My music will make you cringe, so much that you’ll stab yourself with a syringe

Worst. Lyrics. Ever.

I don't like cities, but I like New York
Other places make me feel like a dork

Other cities always make me mad
Other places always make me sad
No other city ever made me glad
except New York

If you don't like my attitude
Then you can F off
Just go to Texas
Isn't that where they golf?

America: Land of the free (unless you’re one of those gays)

Brent Hartinger, author of the excellent Geography Club and The Last Chance Texaco, has had Geography Club banned by a school district of Tacoma, ironically his home town. The ostensible reason given was the fact that the main character meets someone from the internet in a park. This, apparently, will send every teen reader to the first porn site they can find and hook up with paedophiles in dank car parks… or something. I guess they skimmed by the part where the main character asks several questions of the anonymous web chatter, questions only a student at the same high school could answer correctly. Ah, literacy, it’s a grand thing. Though, I guess literacy is a trait of teh gays, and we can’t have that!

But do we really buy the idea they banned the book because the main character meets someone off the internet? Of course not! It’s simple, really. The book is a cesspit of An-American faggyness about faggy fags doing faggy things. Really, why it was ever published is beyond me.

Remember, the freedoms many Americans bang on about is just window dressing. They don’t really want a democracy where people of all religions, sexualities, ethnicities etc. can exist in literature and be read (or not read, as is your right) by anyone choosing to do so.

Oh, and as always with cases like this, it was parents who complained, not the students.

[A link to Brent's excellent blog is in the Links section.]

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Fast food or fat food?

Please, tell me this is a joke.

Is there anyone in existence that has a large enough mouth to fit that behemoth in? I feel my arteries clogging up just looking at it.

Socceroos through to World Cup

Congrats to the Socceroos, who have finally qualified for the World Cup for the first time in 32 years. I watched the game live on TV, and could hardly watch the ridiculously tense penalty shoot out. Only disappointments were the booing of the Uruguayan national anthem and some homophobic banners. I wonder how that translated in the Uruguayan media? Just remember, apparently a bus having eggs thrown at it, the Aussie team being booed and one woman having her camera stolen in Uruguay somehow equates headline news here.

The Age: A Moment in History

Monday, November 14, 2005

Thank You America, F**k you world

Via Sadly, No! comes this: Thank You, America. It’s supposedly a patriotic song, but sounds more idiotic than patriotic. Let’s forget for one moment about the horrendous vocals and just focus on the lyrics.

The opening thanks America for defeating the Third Reich and thus Americans don’t speak German. Now, when they thank “America” for this I’m not too sure if they are thanking the actual landmass or if “America” is a substitute for “troops serving in the US Army during World War II. But, “America” is less of a mouthful.

Maybe my memory is playing tricks on me, but I’m sure that some other countries might have participated in War World II. Hmmm…

Australia was among the first countries to declare war on Germany, on September 3, 1939. More than one million Australians, both men and women served in the war.

Canada declared war on Germany within days of the invasion of Poland (on September 10th 1939). They played an important role in several British-led campaigns, especially in Northwest Europe. Canadian forces contributed heavily in the air raids against Germany, the Battles of Britain, the Atlantic, Italy, and Normandy.

The UK was one of the original Allies, entering the war in 1939 to honour its guarantees to Poland. After the Fall of France the United Kingdom was the only allied nation left in Europe until the invasion of Greece. It remained the only one of the Big Three in the war until 1941 when the Soviet Union was invaded.

However, America joined the Allies in December, 1941, after being bombed by the Japanese. Maybe the lyric needs to be changed...

Well if it wasn’t for Pearl Harbour,
We’d be speaking German under the Third Reich,
Hey… Thank You Japan

Oh, and if the Third Reich had taken over the world, I don’t think speaking German would have been the worst problem.

Anyway, on we go...

The next bit says they are thankful that they don't speak Russian. They don't like more than one language in America! (Perhaps that is one of the reasons why they hate Canada so much. Bien sûr!).

Then the guy sings that he doesn't have to live under "that red flag." Now, I know that this is not the "red flag" that they mean, but take a look at this:
Yes, if you take out all the non-red bits from both flags the US one has more red in it than the Russian flag. Is it a communist conspiracy? Je ne crois pas.

Then the guy sings that he is thankful that his wife doesn't have to hide her face (under piles on make-up?) (because of a botched plastic surgery operation?) and that she can live like a woman. 'Cause you know, in Finland all females at the age of sixteen have to have sex change operations.

Then comes what is probably the stupidest line:

"If today I can drink a beer and celebrate life with no fear..."

Because nothing says Americana more than drinking a good beer with some good friends and enjoying good old freedom without none of that fea.... HOLY FUCK, THE TERROR ALERT COLOUR THING JUST WENT UP TO ORANGE. ORANGE, MAN!!! QUICK, GET THE DUCT TAPE AND SEAL UP ALL THE FUCKING WINDOWS.


Then he's happy that he can choose his own god. (Granted that it's the one and only God that will make all those godless faggots burn in hell. God bless you!)

Then he is happy he can say what he thinks without looking behind his back...

... unless of course you're Joseph Wilson. Boo-Yeah!!!

Then he just babbles on about being a free man in a free country.

So, what does this song tell us about America?

- They don't speak German
- They don't speak Russian
- They aren't a communist country
- They are not ruled by the Third Reich
- They are a secular country
- They can consume alcohol
- They are democratic

Well, that's summed up a lot of freaking countries.

Look, I have no problem with people writing songs about their love of America. And there are many, many wonderful things America has given the world. The problem is when they carry on like America is the only democracy in the entire world. It shows a complete and utter ignorance of the world and only strengthens anti-American sentiment. The next time someone writes a love song about America, please, please, write about what is UNIQUE to America. No, we don’t want to hear about how free you are. Or the fact that you don’t speak Mandarin. Or that you can drink fucking alcohol without feeeeaaarrrrr.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Photographer tips table towards man

(Click the photo to make it larger.)
On Tuesday November 8, there was a confrontation outside the Melbourne Magistrates Court between the media and alleged friends of men arrested in so-called terror raids. While scrutinising the footage I witnessed a photographer tip over a table in the direction of one of the men. The photographer was not provoked in any way. This is clearly a disgusting attempt to provoke the men into attacking for a dramatic photo.

Oh, and it seems as if the government didn’t fabricate a terror attack to overshadow its IR legislation, as I posted before. If the evidence turns out to be true (and I believe the men have only been arrested for being members of a terror group and not for actually planning to commit a terrorist attack) then it’s actually worse than I thought. The government used a real threat to overshadow its IR legislation. Shame, Howard, shame. What will they stoop to next?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Wham, Bam, Spam!

Yes, I know spammers are dumb. But this is just ridiculously stupid:

Gamespot News - PlayStation 3 announced for 2006. Oops.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Howard Government fabricates possible terror attack to overshadow IR reform

News of a possible terrorist attack in Australia, on the very day that the hugely unpopular Industrial Relations legislation is pushed through in Parliament. Wow, that’s one hell of a coincidence.

Howard learns well from Master Bush.

And the terror alert level wasn’t even raised! Even though there is credible evidence of a possible threat. Fancy!

The Age: Terror threat overshadows IR debut

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Claim: US soldiers sexually abused David Hicks

(Hick's) says he was physically and sexually abused by Americans, soon after he was taken into custody.
Hicks revealed the details to his father in a one-on-one meeting at Guantanamo Bay. His lawyers say they have witnesses and that US authorities have photographic evidence to back up the claims.
Lawyers for Hicks first raised the allegations over a year ago but the US Defence Department banned them from making any of the information public.
I guess rape and torture got mixed up with all that spreading freedom and making the world safer stuff.

But are we surprised? Remember, US troops have raped their own fellow soldiers.

Are we surprised? Sadly, no.

ABC NEWS: Calls for full inquiry into Hicks claims

ABC NEWS: Downer's staff 'knew of Hicks abuse claims'