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DIDGE - The View From Down Under

An Aussie’s ridgy-didge view of world affairs and popular culture.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Family friendly SuperBowl half-time show

Organisers of this year's NFL SuperBowl have reassured the world that the half-time entertainment will be suitable for the whole family. Last year Janet Jackson was involved in what many Americans believed to be the worst blight on human history since the Holocaust. In a dance routine with former N*Sync singer Justin Timberlake, Jackson ripped off part of her dress, revealing one of her breasts. The image, seen by many young children, ripped through the United States, tearing families apart and sending many to suicide.

The head of Concerned Americans for Decency on TV had this to say, “I think every child that watched last year’s SuperBowl was raped by Janet Jackson, which is kind of ironic ‘cause it would be more likely that the her brother would be doing that kind of thing. We should live in comfort knowing that when we switch on the television we aren’t going to be bombarded by sex. I mean, this is America! It’s totally acceptable for the news networks to show planes hitting buildings killing thousands of people 24 hours a day for weeks, I mean that’s not going to harm anyone, but you have to draw the line with breasts. And especially black breasts. I mean, where’s the understanding for the children?”

This year the organisers have explicitly designed the show for American families and assure all Americans that the program will be G-Rated. Sources have leaked information regarding the half-time show. Apparently an Iraqi family will be herded into the middle of the stadium and brave American soldiers will shoot them dead. And cheerleaders, who have been practicing in Abu Ghraib, will act out the destruction of Falluja, by stomping on a cardboard replica of the city. The routine is titled, “The March of Freedom.”

An organiser of this year’s show had this to say yesterday, “I’m more than confident that there won’t be any controversy like last year. This year we’ve gone back to the morals that this country stands for. In fact I’m quite proud of the segment where the Iraqi family will be murdered – sorry, liberated by our wonderful troops. Nothing says ‘American values’ more than psycho soldiers shooting dead innocent civilians.”


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