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DIDGE - The View From Down Under

An Aussie’s ridgy-didge view of world affairs and popular culture.

Friday, November 12, 2004

I predict there will be 454,000 murders this coming week...

This is a continuation of the Neighbours lesbian kiss fury. I’m disconcerted by comments saying that gay characters on television is a conspiracy by the gay arts establishment to send all children and adults gay. Doesn’t this totally debunk one of their favourite arguments, that homosexuality is a choice. If it is a conscious choice how could a television program suddenly ‘turn’ someone gay?

Let’s, for a second, say that it is true, that watching gay people on TV will send you gay. I ask why wouldn’t it happen in other areas? Let’s see how many crime shows dealing with murder will be screened on Australian television over the next week:

Thursday:

Inspector Rex, 7:30pm, SBS
“The Beast is Dead” Rex solves a murder of a young father, who was shot dead in broad daylight.

Law & Order: SVU, 8:30pm, Channel 10
“Damaged/Guilt” Deals with the rape and shooting of a six-year-old girl.

Storyline Australia: Music and Murder, 8:30pm, SBS
Documentary: Looks at three men, all incarcerated for horrific murders, who have become accomplished musicians in prison.

Murder Trail, 11:10pm, Channel 9

Friday:

The Brief, 8:30pm, ABC
“So Long Samantha” Farmer tries to determine the truth behind an apparent case of rape and murder.

Inspector Rex, 8:30pm, SBS
“One Always Dies” A mysterious ad for “Ars Moriendi” (the art of dying) appears in a newspaper.

Saturday:

Cracker, 9:30pm, ABC
“To Be A Somebody” When an Asian shopkeeper is murdered, the police suspect a racist motive, but are not sure.

Sunday:

Movie: A Climate for Killing, 12:40am, Channel 9
A sheriff and a hotshot cop approach a 16-year-old murder mystery from opposite sides of the law when a body is found in the desert.

Robbery Homicide Division, 12:55am, Channel 10

Murder Trail, 10:50pm, Channel 9
“Trailside Killer” David Carpenter’s violent spree began in 1961, when he attacked a woman with a hammer, for which he was sentenced to 14 years in prison.

Monday:

Crossing Jordan, 8:30pm, Channel 7
“Justice Delayed” A woman is found dead in her kitchen, and no one can agree on the cause of death.

Sensing Murder, 9:30pm, Channel 10
“Cruel Intent” The abduction and murder of 13-year-old Karmein Chan remains unsolved and her captor “Mc Cruel” remains one of Australia’s most wanted men.

Tuesday:

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 8:30pm, Channel 9
“Turn of the Screws” A roller coaster crash kills six people.

Cold Case, 9:30pm, Channel 9
“Glued” Stillman asks Lilly to reopen a case he couldn’t solve, where an eight-year-old boy was murdered in 1980.

Wednesday:

Blue Heelers, 8:30pm, Channel 7
“Crash Site” The Heelers try to come to terms with the idea Tom is dead when the smouldering wreckage of his rental car is found, with a charred body at the wheel.

CSI: Miami, 8:30pm, Channel 9
“Innocent” The murder of an adult film star has the team investigating some seedy Miami denizens.

Weekdays:

Blue Heelers, 2:00pm, Channel 7
Crime show based in country Victoria.

White Collar Blue, 12:00pm, Channel 10
Police series set in Sydney.

Ok, so that’s almost twenty hours of murder and death in just one week. So my advice would be to stay inside and lock your doors, ‘cause there’s gonna be a lot of murder going on. Just look at the ratings, last week 508,000 Melbournians watched CSI, 468,000 Law & Order: SVU, 449,000 CSI: Miami, 438,000 Law & Order and 408,000 who watched Blue Heelers. So that’s an average of 454,000 who watched a program featuring murder. So I predict there will be 454,000 murders this coming week. What, you think that’s preposterous? Tell that to the people who believe television will turn you gay! Though I guess I shouldn’t make fun of them too much, they do have a point. I mean it’s not like there were any gay people in the world before television started “glamorising” it.

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